Peripheral Visions

I'm reading a book that a friend lent to me. She gave it to me a few years ago - I think probably while I was doing my certificate in Adult Ed. At the time, I was pretty overwhelmed with the other reading I had to do, and when I started reading this book, called "Peripheral Visions: learning along the way," by Mary Catherine Bateson, it was, quite frankly, too cerebral for "extra-curricular reading" - at least for my taste.

But I picked it up again a week or two ago, and it really is quite fascinating. Among many other really cool insights about how learning happens, and cultural differences, etc, here are a couple of my favorite nuggets so far:

"Insight, I believe, refers to that depth of understanding that comes by setting experiences, yours and mine, familiar and exotic, new and old, side by side, learning by letting them speak to one another." (page14)

"Community, like the sacred, is an idea that becomes reality because we believe in it, not vice versa." (page 42)

I also just finished reading a really interesting chapter about change and continuity. Basically, the idea is that depending on how you look at your life, you can focus on everything that's changed or on everything that stays the same:

"Everything I have ever done has been heading me for where I am today" is one version of the truth, but most adults can say as well, "It is only after many surprises and choices, interruptions and disappointments, that I have arrived somewhere I could never have anticipated." (pages 83-84)

I'm not even half done the book yet, so maybe I'll be back with more. :-)

Games night

What a fun time I had last night! I took my Little Sister to a games night at my church that the Fellowship and Outreach committee (of which I'm a member) was hosting. The timing of the evening was bad, with curling and parent teacher interviews taking up a large portion of potential participants, but those of us that were there (all 8 of us!) didn't let that stop us!

We ranged in age from 14 to... I would guess 70-something. My Little Sister didn't know anyone there but me. But the other people there did a great job of making her feel right at home. We laughed, we snacked, we took turns kicking each others' butts at the games we were playing, and then we laughed some more.

The magic in it for me, I think, was partly in watching my Little Sister interact with these older folks (and them with her). I'm pretty sure that the vast majority of older people in her life are very no-nonsense, strict, traditional people. Those are not words I would use to describe the people we spent time with last night. In fact I think I would describe them as kind, open, and fun-loving.

So thanks again to my church community for reminding me of what it really means to be "in community" with others. It's a night I'll not soon forget!

Angel Neighbour

I'm sure my across-the-street neighbour will never read my blog, but I just want to tell the world how much I appreciate him. At random times throughout the last 3 winters (all the time I've lived in this house), he has cleared the snow from my driveway in winter. He has almost always done this while I was away from home, or sleeping, so it wasn't until a few weeks ago that I finally confirmed who this everyday angel was.

Since I didn't know who was doing it for sure, I have tried instead to "pay it forward" in other ways to other people who need a hand. But now I can pay it back - I got a gift certificate for a local restaurant so he and his wife can go on a date. :-) I just can't describe what a pleasant surprise it is to come home from work and find a nice clean driveway. Here's to the angels in our lives who never ask for anything in return, but work to make their little corner of the world a better place to be.

A Friendship Renewed

So a number of years ago, I became friends with a couple who were very close with my boyfriend at the time. I loved hanging out at their place, and getting to know their little girl who was then 2 years old and just starting to talk. I was very excited to learn that they were expecting twins. We spent quite a bit of time with them, and I really connected with them. And then said boyfriend and I broke up.

Honestly, there were times when I think I missed this couple more than the boyfriend. But I didn't want to invite myself in to what I perceived to be "his territory." I was excited for them when when I heard the twins were born, but being unsure of the appropriate way to get into contact with them, I did nothing.

Well yesterday the mom and the 3 little girls (including the twins whose third birthday happened to be yesterday!) and two of their friends were on an "adventure" exploring the town, and ended up at our school. When R (the mom) recognized me, I took a second to figure out who she was - I didn't recognize her from far away without my glasses on, and she had a toque on! She right away told me that they had missed me, and I got all choked up when I told her the feeling was mutual... As we talked some more, she said the ex tends not to be around as much and she thinks it would be fine to have me over for a visit again sometime soon. I am so looking forward to that call.

you go girl!

Sad that this video is 17 years old, and things are likely worse now than they were... But what an inspiration on a day when I really needed it!

birthday fun

My birthday is coming up this week. I'll be 31. Last year, I threw a big birthday party for myself and invited friends and family from all over to join me. It was fun, and I felt very loved just by the number of people that drove distances in awful weather. But I also was reminded that I am an introvert at heart, and prefer to be in smaller groups where I can feel like I really connected with people.

This year was the exact opposite of last year. Friday night I went out with a great friend, for dinner, shopping, and a movie. We had great fun - especially since most of our connecting recently has been in a work context.

Then Saturday I headed out to my parents' place, where I think I had officially my smallest birthday party yet. I blew out the candles with just my mom and my dad present. Since we were celebrating early, my mom hadn't had time to get my gift yet, so there weren't any gifts to open. And still, I couldn't have felt more special.

I don't remember many occasions in my childhood (ie, before I left home) that I got quality time with both my parents and no one else. My mom went to the trouble of baking a cake even though she couldn't eat it. My dad and I got to talk guitar (the lessons are going well enough that I was excited to show him what I've learned) and we all watched a few hilarious youtube videos... And we have photographic evidence of me crying from laughing so hard. Something about blowing out the candles - I don't remember what - got us all laughing so hard I couldn't stop.

Thanks, Mom and Dad, for a great evening... It felt good to come home.

funny with a cause

Big Daddy Tazz came to our little town on Wednesday to do his thing - making people laugh. The event was to raise awareness of mental illness, which is Tazz's "cause." He had us laughing about his suicide attempts, his bi-polar diagnosis, and his son's ADD. I know, sounds a little lacking in taste, but we were laughing so hard we had sore bellies and sore cheeks later. He encourages people to talk about these things by making them funny, you see.

I've seen Tazz perform before at a couple of different venues, and on TV. This particular time he was only performing for about 80 people, and I think his act still gets better every time. Afterwards he had a bit of a Q & A for those that wanted to ask him questions about his experiences. I was struck by how this is a person who, like Nick from the previous post, has learned to use his personal challenges to make other people's lives better. He responded to all the questions with humour, respect, and a gentle manner that made it feel like all questions were good questions. You could sense that he'd worked really hard to get where he is, and that he didn't take it for granted. In fact he talked about some of the struggles he still has, and how making other people laugh is a form of medication for him. So thanks, Tazz, for an evening of inspired laughter... and for saying my singing was "phenomenal." ;-)