Life List

So, I think I added something to my life list today: Being a part of something like this...


Not necessarily dancing, though - just something that is unexpected, but brings people together, puts a smile on people's faces, brightens their day and gives them a great story to tell... How fun!! (Thanks for showing me this, Shauna!)

Here's another example:


Of course, it could also be a lot simpler...

A Friendship Renewed

So a number of years ago, I became friends with a couple who were very close with my boyfriend at the time. I loved hanging out at their place, and getting to know their little girl who was then 2 years old and just starting to talk. I was very excited to learn that they were expecting twins. We spent quite a bit of time with them, and I really connected with them. And then said boyfriend and I broke up.

Honestly, there were times when I think I missed this couple more than the boyfriend. But I didn't want to invite myself in to what I perceived to be "his territory." I was excited for them when when I heard the twins were born, but being unsure of the appropriate way to get into contact with them, I did nothing.

Well yesterday the mom and the 3 little girls (including the twins whose third birthday happened to be yesterday!) and two of their friends were on an "adventure" exploring the town, and ended up at our school. When R (the mom) recognized me, I took a second to figure out who she was - I didn't recognize her from far away without my glasses on, and she had a toque on! She right away told me that they had missed me, and I got all choked up when I told her the feeling was mutual... As we talked some more, she said the ex tends not to be around as much and she thinks it would be fine to have me over for a visit again sometime soon. I am so looking forward to that call.

looong overdue

Father's Day came and went a while back, and as with mother's day (only moreso), I am *very* tardy in my recognition of that fact. My dad did get the usual visit, small gift & card, with the appropriate sentiments, and I should say before I go further that I don't do that stuff out of obligation, but out of appreciation. (Hence the not really caring about the specific date of fathers day).

Dad, I think I basically said it all in the card, but for those of you who don't know my dad, here's what's so darn great about him.

1) He's patient. Not to say he never gets angry, but when he finally gets exasperated, it's warranted. ;-)
2) He's musical. Mom is too, but it was Dad that was up there on that stage at all those local talent shows playing guitar so I could sing my little heart out.
3) I'm trying to find the word here... rock solid? steady? grounded? There is just something about his presence in my life that makes me calmer and I think somewhat more grounded myself than I might otherwise be.
4) He's respectful. Perhaps the most significant thing he taught me, without even saying it directly, was that I deserve respect. Again, mom taught me that too, but I think it has a different effect coming from a significant male role model...
5) He is probably the hardest working man I know. And another significant lesson I learned from him was to follow my heart - when I was in high school, he quit his job of 20+ years, and decided to farm full time & run his own business on his terms. I'm sure that wasn't a simple decision to make, but I'm also quite certain it was the right one for him, and I know we all benefitted from a much more relaxed dad that first harvest!
6) He lives his faith. His actions are grounded in his values. I have learned a lot about integrity from my dad.
7) He's a very handy guy to have around.... Installing light fixtures, doing garage renovations, installing flooring... Much like my wish that I had paid more attention in the kitchen with my mom, I wish I had followed my dad around doing those tasks a bit more too!

I could go on and on, but I'm sure even this much has managed to embarrass him... Sorry dad, but I think the whole world should know that my dad really *IS* the greatest dad ever. ;-)

Mom(s)

So Mother's day, in case you missed it, was last week. And I have been fully intending to post about my mom since then, but it's been *slightly* busy, and besides, I went and visited my mom that day, and I know that between that and the sappy card I gave her, she really doesn't need this post. But I do.

First, let me give a shout out to all the women who have had mothering influences in my life - my grandmas, my aunties, Diane G, Carol B, Leona N, Shauna H, Leanne D, Cathy C, Marge A, and Myrna W. I carry with me a sense of having a super-huge extended family everywhere I go because of these ladies, and I love you all for different reasons!

But on to my mom. She's, quite simply, the best. Part of the reason it's taken me so long to post this, is that I wanted to get my lists complete. I finally realized they never will be, so here's the partial list:

Things I plan to do for my kids, just like my mom did (and does)for me:
1) Unconditional love, of course...and hugs in abundance.
2) Demonstrate affection towards their dad, in front of them.
3) Chats (serious or otherwise) at the kitchen table over a cup of tea.
4) Stand back and let my kids learn from their own mistakes and choices.
5) Make a point of family meals together as a chance to connect with each other.
6) Call regularly to chat/update even when there's nothing new.
7) Stay involved in my community, and provide leadership and vision. I'm only just beginning to realize what a profound impact that has had on my life.
8) Show my own mom the love and respect that she deserves.

Reasons I know my mom loves me:
1) A couple of times in my university days, she sent me little cards in the mail that were expressly so I'd get something that wasn't a bill. (I still have one of those notes tucked away somewhere.)
2) She calls at least once a week, but knows if I don't call, it's likely because things are pretty good with me.
3) Every time I've changed addresses, the blessed woman has cleaned the old place (including vacuuming cat hair) and helped me clean the new place too, while the rest of us have loaded boxes. She also came over last summer to help paint, and install my new flooring.
4) She keeps track of all my friends, their spouses, and their kids (or tries to - and does very well!)
5) She stayed home with us when we were kids, until we were all in school, and then worked just a few days a week outside of the home. This meant a lot of sacrifices on her part (and my dad's), but it meant the world to us.
6) I know she will come and look after me any time, if things are bad, and I just ask.
7) She worries about me (and my brothers)... a lot. But never in an overbearing way. :-)
8) She never complains, no matter how many pairs of pants I bring home to have shortened...but she does try to teach me how to do it myself. :-)

Classic Mom Moments:
(some of these moments happen all the time, and some are one-time-only things that I remember her saying)
1) "Every child needs to have somebody that's crazy about them."
2) "I trust you until I have a reason not to... then... LOOK OUT."
3) "It's your decision.... but you know what I think." ;-)
4) "You know, a solid relationship needs to be based on more than just having a lot in common."
5) "You can marry whoever you want, wherever you want, whenever you want. I won't interfere. As long as I have a front row seat."
6) "Have fun, behave yourself, and sweetie... Drive carefully."

So there it is, just a partial list of the reasons my mom really is the best. I am so SO blessed. Happy belated mothers day everyone!!

On siblings

Recent events have had me thinking a lot about my family, and about what it means to be a family. (Warning... I am about to bare my soul here....) I just need to say, for the record, that I love my brothers. Both of them. Fiercely.

We may fight and disagree from time to time, and we may all have different personalities that make it difficult to connect sometimes, and it's true that I get along better (and keep in better touch with) one than with the other. But the truth is that even when I get spitting mad at my "big brother," it's almost always about wanting him to accept me just as I am, and approve of the person I've become. And I think he does, deep down. It's also true that my "little brother" consistently rolls his eyes when I try to express stuff like this, but I also believe that he feels the same way, deep down.

My brothers are both hardworking, intelligent, decent, caring (in their own way ;-) ), stable guys who both have a great sense of humour. Maybe it's the gene pool (LOL), and I like to think I've "sistered" them well (I read an article in Chatelaine about that once and loved that term to describe how boys without sisters are different than boys with sisters). Most certainly our parents had much to do with how we turned out. But we siblings have also each shaped the other in many ways. And both brothers are incredible gifts in my life in very different ways.

As the one statement in that last video I posted pointed out, our siblings are the people most likely to be a part of our lives from start to finish... And my brothers have always been there when I needed them. As I will always be there for them. Because that's what family is. And I like to think I come from a family that is exceptional at being a family.

Don't worry Mom, you and Dad will get your own separate posts. Just not tonight. It's past my bedtime, you know. ;-)

Every Minute

I spend a lot of my spare time a) on the phone with my mom or my boyfriend, b) online with my brother or my boyfriend, c) "facebooking" with a variety of friends and relatives, and d) actually having face-to-face contact with friends & family near and far. Needless to say, these relationships are very important to me. I often lament the fact that I am some distance away from many of these significant people, but I also really value the ones that live close by. This week I went for drinks with a couple of friends from work one night, and I was reminded again how lucky I am to be surrounded by such warm, caring, and fun people, who allow me to be entirely me.

Tonight I was playing piano and came across a piece by Sara Groves that I hadn't played in quite a while. It nearly moved me to tears (yet again), and I wanted to post the lyrics here to say thanks to the people I love for loving me back. :-)

Every Minute (Sara Groves)
I am long in staying; I am slow to leave
Especially when it comes to you, my friend.
You have taught me to slow down and to prop up my feet.
It's the fine art of being who I am.
And I can't figure out why you want me around;
I'm not the smartest person I have ever met.
But somehow that doesn't matter.
No, it never really mattered to you at all.

And at the risk of wearing out my welcome,
at the risk of self-discovery,
I'll take every moment and every minute that you'll give me.

And I can think of a time when families all lived together,
four generations in one house,
and the table was full of good food and friends and neighbours;
that's not how we like it now.
'Cause if you sit at home you're a loser;
couldn't you find anything better to do?
Well, no I couldn't think of one thing
I would rather waste my time on than sitting here with you.

And at the risk of wearing out my welcome,
at the risk of self-discovery,
I'll take every moment and every minute that you'll give me.

And I wish all the people I love the most could gather in one place
and know each other and love each other well,
And I wish we could all go camping and lay beneath the stars
when there's nothing to do and stories to tell.
We'd sit around the campfire and we'd make each other laugh,
remembering when.
You're the first one I'm inviting; always know that you're invited, my friend.

And at the risk of wearing out my welcome,
at the risk of self-discovery,
I'll take every moment and every minute that you'll give me.
I'll take every moment and every minute that you'll give me.