Mom(s)

So Mother's day, in case you missed it, was last week. And I have been fully intending to post about my mom since then, but it's been *slightly* busy, and besides, I went and visited my mom that day, and I know that between that and the sappy card I gave her, she really doesn't need this post. But I do.

First, let me give a shout out to all the women who have had mothering influences in my life - my grandmas, my aunties, Diane G, Carol B, Leona N, Shauna H, Leanne D, Cathy C, Marge A, and Myrna W. I carry with me a sense of having a super-huge extended family everywhere I go because of these ladies, and I love you all for different reasons!

But on to my mom. She's, quite simply, the best. Part of the reason it's taken me so long to post this, is that I wanted to get my lists complete. I finally realized they never will be, so here's the partial list:

Things I plan to do for my kids, just like my mom did (and does)for me:
1) Unconditional love, of course...and hugs in abundance.
2) Demonstrate affection towards their dad, in front of them.
3) Chats (serious or otherwise) at the kitchen table over a cup of tea.
4) Stand back and let my kids learn from their own mistakes and choices.
5) Make a point of family meals together as a chance to connect with each other.
6) Call regularly to chat/update even when there's nothing new.
7) Stay involved in my community, and provide leadership and vision. I'm only just beginning to realize what a profound impact that has had on my life.
8) Show my own mom the love and respect that she deserves.

Reasons I know my mom loves me:
1) A couple of times in my university days, she sent me little cards in the mail that were expressly so I'd get something that wasn't a bill. (I still have one of those notes tucked away somewhere.)
2) She calls at least once a week, but knows if I don't call, it's likely because things are pretty good with me.
3) Every time I've changed addresses, the blessed woman has cleaned the old place (including vacuuming cat hair) and helped me clean the new place too, while the rest of us have loaded boxes. She also came over last summer to help paint, and install my new flooring.
4) She keeps track of all my friends, their spouses, and their kids (or tries to - and does very well!)
5) She stayed home with us when we were kids, until we were all in school, and then worked just a few days a week outside of the home. This meant a lot of sacrifices on her part (and my dad's), but it meant the world to us.
6) I know she will come and look after me any time, if things are bad, and I just ask.
7) She worries about me (and my brothers)... a lot. But never in an overbearing way. :-)
8) She never complains, no matter how many pairs of pants I bring home to have shortened...but she does try to teach me how to do it myself. :-)

Classic Mom Moments:
(some of these moments happen all the time, and some are one-time-only things that I remember her saying)
1) "Every child needs to have somebody that's crazy about them."
2) "I trust you until I have a reason not to... then... LOOK OUT."
3) "It's your decision.... but you know what I think." ;-)
4) "You know, a solid relationship needs to be based on more than just having a lot in common."
5) "You can marry whoever you want, wherever you want, whenever you want. I won't interfere. As long as I have a front row seat."
6) "Have fun, behave yourself, and sweetie... Drive carefully."

So there it is, just a partial list of the reasons my mom really is the best. I am so SO blessed. Happy belated mothers day everyone!!

*Names changed to protect identities

Here's an email a colleague sent at work today... A little background info first though: "Jane" and "Mary" are both women in their late 20s, who have attended our learning centre for a few years, and overcome great obstacles, including not speaking English at first, to do so. We have supported them along the way, and they have worked very hard to acheive their current level of success. Both are still financially in tight spots, but it's not quite as bad as it used to be. "Kate" is a 17-year-old mom who started attending in fall when she was a few months pregnant. She returned to school as soon as "Maggie" was old enough (3 months) to be in the daycare, and has also worked very hard all along. All 3 women are going to be attending a student dress rehearsal performance of Dream Girls at MTC next week with a small group from our school. What follows is a brilliant example of the community we work so hard at building within our school...

And now, finally, the email:

"I'm feeling all warm and fuzzy, and I thought I'd pass it on.

This morning, I witnessed the loveliest "pay it forward" from our wonderful students.

Yesterday, I chatted with Kate and Jane about the Dreamgirls production. Kate expressed a combination of interest in going along with concern about what to do with Maggie.

Jane called Mary about this, and they came up with a solution to the child care issue - Mary has a friend who would be willing to watch the baby!

Then...this morning...Jane came to pay for her ticket, and decided to also pay for Kate's because, Jane noted, "she will already have to pay for a babysitter, and I would like to do this."

Try to measure that in any curriculum!!!

Have I mentioned lately how much I love this place????"

I couldn't agree more!! What a great way to end off my week! :-)

on getting involved

I had secretly been regretting my recent decision to join the Fellowship & Outreach committee at my church, mostly because, by coincidence, May and June (the first couple of months I've been on the committee) have turned out to be very busy for our committee, and I was hoping for a little less of a time commitment. I had also been secretly dreading tonight's event - a supper to celebrate the seniors in our church, and the first event put on by this committee since I joined up. I had been dreading it for a number of reasons that I won't get into, but primarily, I just wasn't nuts about giving up "my" Friday night. But tonight I changed my tune.

I haven't laughed that hard in a really long time. Although I was part of the group doing all the "work," I think I had more fun than some of our guests! I was both part of the entertainment, and I was entertained. And as our work crew joked around in the kitchen while we cleaned up afterwards, I realized that I knew exactly what I was signing up for when I signed up, and that I'm glad I did. I'm just sorry I lost sight of it for a bit there.

The F&O committee is about reaching out and including everyone in our church family. Our minister aside, I was the youngest person there by a good 20 years, but I felt completely at home with these warm, welcoming people. I actually felt like I was preparing a meal with all my aunts and uncles. We weren't out to raise money tonight, but just to provide a chance for people to connect, have fun,and enjoy an evening out with good food and good fun. And that's what we did. All of us. And once again I was very proud to be a part of this little community I call home. What a great way to spend "my" Friday night! :-)

On siblings

Recent events have had me thinking a lot about my family, and about what it means to be a family. (Warning... I am about to bare my soul here....) I just need to say, for the record, that I love my brothers. Both of them. Fiercely.

We may fight and disagree from time to time, and we may all have different personalities that make it difficult to connect sometimes, and it's true that I get along better (and keep in better touch with) one than with the other. But the truth is that even when I get spitting mad at my "big brother," it's almost always about wanting him to accept me just as I am, and approve of the person I've become. And I think he does, deep down. It's also true that my "little brother" consistently rolls his eyes when I try to express stuff like this, but I also believe that he feels the same way, deep down.

My brothers are both hardworking, intelligent, decent, caring (in their own way ;-) ), stable guys who both have a great sense of humour. Maybe it's the gene pool (LOL), and I like to think I've "sistered" them well (I read an article in Chatelaine about that once and loved that term to describe how boys without sisters are different than boys with sisters). Most certainly our parents had much to do with how we turned out. But we siblings have also each shaped the other in many ways. And both brothers are incredible gifts in my life in very different ways.

As the one statement in that last video I posted pointed out, our siblings are the people most likely to be a part of our lives from start to finish... And my brothers have always been there when I needed them. As I will always be there for them. Because that's what family is. And I like to think I come from a family that is exceptional at being a family.

Don't worry Mom, you and Dad will get your own separate posts. Just not tonight. It's past my bedtime, you know. ;-)

Advice for Life

I was in my car for a total of about 5 minutes today, and managed to catch this on the radio. I'd forgotten about it since it first came out about 10 years ago, but it's so good, I didn't want to forget about it again. So I'm posting it here for future reference when I need some really sage advice about what's really important in life. And now I'll just let it speak for itself. Enjoy.

*snicker*

see more crazy cat pics

Every Minute

I spend a lot of my spare time a) on the phone with my mom or my boyfriend, b) online with my brother or my boyfriend, c) "facebooking" with a variety of friends and relatives, and d) actually having face-to-face contact with friends & family near and far. Needless to say, these relationships are very important to me. I often lament the fact that I am some distance away from many of these significant people, but I also really value the ones that live close by. This week I went for drinks with a couple of friends from work one night, and I was reminded again how lucky I am to be surrounded by such warm, caring, and fun people, who allow me to be entirely me.

Tonight I was playing piano and came across a piece by Sara Groves that I hadn't played in quite a while. It nearly moved me to tears (yet again), and I wanted to post the lyrics here to say thanks to the people I love for loving me back. :-)

Every Minute (Sara Groves)
I am long in staying; I am slow to leave
Especially when it comes to you, my friend.
You have taught me to slow down and to prop up my feet.
It's the fine art of being who I am.
And I can't figure out why you want me around;
I'm not the smartest person I have ever met.
But somehow that doesn't matter.
No, it never really mattered to you at all.

And at the risk of wearing out my welcome,
at the risk of self-discovery,
I'll take every moment and every minute that you'll give me.

And I can think of a time when families all lived together,
four generations in one house,
and the table was full of good food and friends and neighbours;
that's not how we like it now.
'Cause if you sit at home you're a loser;
couldn't you find anything better to do?
Well, no I couldn't think of one thing
I would rather waste my time on than sitting here with you.

And at the risk of wearing out my welcome,
at the risk of self-discovery,
I'll take every moment and every minute that you'll give me.

And I wish all the people I love the most could gather in one place
and know each other and love each other well,
And I wish we could all go camping and lay beneath the stars
when there's nothing to do and stories to tell.
We'd sit around the campfire and we'd make each other laugh,
remembering when.
You're the first one I'm inviting; always know that you're invited, my friend.

And at the risk of wearing out my welcome,
at the risk of self-discovery,
I'll take every moment and every minute that you'll give me.
I'll take every moment and every minute that you'll give me.